Stoopid News

Maybe this is some variation on the "fuzzy math" thing?

I didn't know "strength" was a verb.

Just because you're a TV news station doesn't mean your audience is illiterate. And why not cut the crap and just say "impact"?

Those blasted wormholes keep popping up out of nowhere and screwing with the time continuum!

I don't know. This is making my head hurt.

Sorry guys, it would have been MUCH funnier if you'd said they "vegged" on unemployment. Bwaaaaahaaaahaaaaa!

Exactly WHO can't write well?

CNN, there's several great explanations of collective nouns online. "A" for consistency, though.

If you're looking to lease a Cuban to travel with you, you're in luck!

Believe it or not, they did this deliberately. Fails on so many levels.

Access, assess, what's the diff?

Those damned proofreaders always disappear just when you need them most! Oh, that's right. We fired all of them.

If you're not sure, just go with "completely".

I think he answered his own question with the opening sentence.

I kan two spel!

Um, CNN, I think the word you are looking for is "portal".

Help! I'm lost in this sentence and can't find my way back!

Hello? Dictionary.com?

Looks like the only non-terminally-stupid person in this story is the little girl. Nonsensical sentence is a bonus. Please note the great restraint shown by not commenting on the state in which this occurred.

I see I'm going to have to create a "general nonsense" category.

Aid? Aide? Apparently it doesn't matter to ABC News.

I'm so confused. Isn't it hot in Phoenix?

The gunman was David Blaine???

Machine translation, perhaps?

How do they know he was smiling if he was wearing a ski mask? I saw nobody use good grammar, either.

Perhaps this explains the wealth of material for this page.

Will someone please explain to me the difficulty with "used to" and "supposed to"? Sigh.

Indianapolis is SO cool! Our police force has a massage squad! You know, for after that massive drinking binge during working hours.

At LEAST pay someone to proof the headlines.

A two-fer! Apparently the legal system has changed, and now you can be arrested for "alleged" crimes, such as gross spelling errors. Minority Report, anyone?

It's the mystery headline!

This reporter was past six beers when he passed up the dictionary.

Disturbing on a visceral level. AND includes an error.

Stunning in their consistency. And sad.

Let me know when you figure out who's on the right (caption).

Your guess is as good as mine.

I knew they took football seriously in Texas, but...damn!

Is this the best you could do? Sigh. But they got "its" right! Huzzah!

Maybe the new journalism has writers skipping third grade spelling?

Wrong on too many levels.

I get so tense when you can't pick one. At least they got "its" right.

Another two-fer. Not sure what "a older NFL helmet" has to do with White supremacy...

Who knew Yoda worked for the Globe?

Hey Fox, hire your proofreader back. Seriously.

A new political group?

C'mon Time magazine. Really?

Gotta love a story about Billy Joe. Too bad the writer doesn't understand then vs. than.

Damn, April 9 was "fire your proofreader" day.

This entire story is remarkably stupid. Throw in three heinous errors and it's 4 and 0.

Dunno where the bears came into the story, but...ok.

I think we covered this one in third grade.

OK this one is an ad, but it qualifies for the stoopid award. A client of Joe's Bargain Basement Ad Agency?

I don't even know what to say about this one.

Damn. We've rubbed off on the Brits. (Sea the photo caption.)

Valley girl caption writer.

Where in the world is Carmen Diego? It's gratifying to see I'm not alone...see the comment below the article.

I are going to get a cup of coffee now.

Has anybody seen my verb? I seem to have misplaced it.

Hey Foxnews! Quit staring at her crotch and learn to spell "triathlon"!

I thank, therefore I am.

Is this a veiled commentary on athletics and academics?

No idea. You figure it out.

I believe this was tackled in third grade also. Courtesy of Fox.

Had to include this one just for its gross-out subject matter. I think it's more appropriately described as "Yak on a stick."

I feel ripped off at the incoherence of this article.

What? They're all a bunch of fruits? I'm so confused.

Preposition? We don't need no stinkin' preposition!

This caption writer was later hired by the Daily Express. What is the problem with grizzly bares? Damn.

This one's out of sequence, in keeping with the date confusion of the story itself. Guess that explains the problem with tense later in the story?

Apparently the TV news station is counting on an illiterate web audience.

...before or after she had went got in the car?

Too stupid to qualify as news...so why does it??

To stupid two know the difference?

Stoopidity continues in same article.

No clue.

Suicide is dangerous? Really?

What's an adverb between friends?

Your guess is as good as mine here.

So many comments come to mind...

• Don't know how to spell it? Just make it up!
• Fox News, meet Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com, meet Fox News.

A video about dancing and groceries? I'm so confused.

Danica, a Satan worshiper? Really?? From dictionary.com:

Tempter:

1. a person or thing that tempts, esp. to evil.
2. the Tempter, Satan; the devil.

Dominate, dominant...oh what difference does it make, anyway!

Apparently May 20 was "Take Your Idiot to Work Day" in all the newsrooms.

...and my butts was hurting from this grammar.

I just love this headline. Definitely gets your attention!

Wonder if the passenger had past gas in the passed? (see April 23 entry)

Not sure if this is the fault of the reporter or the police officer, but at least the offender is consistently ignorant.

I dunno. Usually I REPORT a corpse, not give it a ticket. And seven times, too!

...and she's STILL running loose! Courtesy of Fox news.

Can't improve on this one.

There went life #2 of 9?

Spellcheck broke. Note ad for creepy product at left.

Many thanks to a co-worker (Tim) who found this one on MSNBC.com. He told me it was up for about three minutes before they fixed it.

Learn how to use apostrophe here: http://www.angryflower.com/bobsqu.gif

<Thunk> <Thunk> (sound of head banging against desk)

I do NOT want to watch this video!

Just use your portable perpetual motion machine...

Huh?

As opposed to after they're dead?

No Dead Swimming.

CNN.com. No comment.

On Foxnews.com. AAAARGH.

On CNN.com. A lovely example of nonsensical sentences. And BONUS! TWO in the same article!

Apparently the folks at the Statesman are cutting costs by having their children write the headlines.